


Light Reading

by OnceUponACaskett



Category: Castle (TV 2009)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Set during 5x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27907108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponACaskett/pseuds/OnceUponACaskett
Summary: “Hell no!” Esposito exclaimed, shooting up in his chair. “I don’t wanna see any texts between him and Beckett!”“Well one of us has to go through them and I don’t wanna be the one to do it!”ORThe one where Esposito and Ryan are forced to go through Castle's phone records during 5x05 and get traumatized by some of the texts between Castle and Beckett.
Relationships: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Light Reading

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt I found: "Ryan and Esposito go through Castle’s phone looking for evidence in Probable Cause and find some graphic sexts between Beckett and Castle. Afterwards they can’t look “mom and dad” in the eye."

“I can’t believe we have to do this to Castle,” Ryan all but threw a pile of papers that comprised of Castle’s phone records down on the table in frustration.

“Me too, bro.” Esposito sat down and ran a hand over his face. He was exhausted. They’d been relentlessly trying to prove Castle’s innocence over the last few days, but it seemed like nothing was working. All the evidence kept pointing to him and there was nothing they could do but follow it.

“I mean, we all know Castle would never do something like this, right?” Ryan looked at his partner who remained silent. “Right?” Ryan asked, a little more force behind his voice.

Esposito shook his head. “Look, it’s not that I think he actually killed that girl. But we’ve all been doing this job way too long to think everyone’s who they say they are. Some of the most innocent looking people turn out to do the worst crimes.”

“Yeah, but this is Castle, man. We know him,” Ryan said.

“We thought we knew Montgomery too.”

They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence before Ryan cleared his throat. “Let’s just get through these records and see if we can find anything that’ll help. You wanna take the texts and I’ll take the calls?”

“ _Hell_ no!” Esposito exclaimed, shooting up in his chair. “I don’t wanna see any texts between him and Beckett!”

“Well one of us has to go through them and I don’t wanna be the one to do it!”

“What if we just skip them?”

“Javi,” Ryan sighed, “you know we can’t. We have to look at _everything_. We do that for every other suspect.”

“What if we look at them together? Because if I gotta suffer, then you do too.”

“Fine.” Ryan moved his chair over next to Esposito’s and shuffled through the giant stack of papers, looking for the printed out text messages. “Here we go.”

They read them in silence, flipping through a few pages quickly. After several minutes went by, Esposito said, “Okay, these are way tamer than I thought they’d be.”

“Yeah, this is nothing,” Ryan scrunched his face in confusion. “It’s all ‘when are you coming over’, ‘can’t wait to see you’, ‘Ryan’s tie looked so tacky—’ hey!”

Esposito laughed. “He’s go you there, bro.”

“My ties are _not_ tacky. Jenny helps me pick out a new one every time we go shopping!”

Esposito shot him a look before skipping a few pages and randomly pulling out one from the middle of the stack. “We all still remember that two week anniver—eugh!” Immediately, he flipped the page over to the blank backside.

“What’s wrong?” Ryan went to grab the paper, but his partner slammed his hand down on it, barring him from picking it up.

“Don’t,” he told him. “You’ll regret it.”

Snatching the paper from Esposito, Ryan looked at it for all of two seconds and then throwing it away from him. “I didn’t see that, I didn’t see that, I didn’t see that,” he chanted to himself.

“I’m gonna have to bleach my eyes.”

“Well now we know why he was popular with the ladies,” Ryan said. “With a dick like that—”

“Dude!” Esposito shouted in disgust. “Ugh, do we have to keep going? We can just tell Captain Gates that nothing turned up.”

“And what if there’s something in these texts with Beckett that proves he didn’t do it?”

Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to not read another sentence, but there was no way out of this. And it’s not like he and Ryan could just pass this off. They were the only two who knew about Castle and Beckett’s relationship and they weren’t about to let their friends’ privacy be invaded by some pimple-faced uniform.

Steeling himself, Esposito grabbed another sheet and skimmed over the messages.

Somehow, it got worse.

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up,” Ryan grimaced.

“Jesus, these two are hornier than a pack of rhinos.”

“Okay, I did _not_ need to know how flexible Beckett is.”

“They’re into some freaky shit, dude.”

“Oh my god, how long does this go on?”

“Maybe another couple—OH MY GOD, NO! Nope, I’m done!”

Esposito slammed the paper on the table and stood from his chair. “I’ll make up whatever lie I have to tell Gates, but I just saw parts of Beckett that I _never_ wanna see ever again and I refuse to look at any more.”

Ryan felt sick to his stomach. It was one thing to know that two of your closest friends were in a relationship and doing certain _things_ that most relationships entail. It was another to have to read all their sexts back and forth and to even be subjected to seeing compromising pictures of them naked. No one should have to suffer through that.

“Yeah, I’m right there with you. I can’t read another word about Beckett begging for Castle’s—”

“Heyheyhey! Stop talking about it,” Esposito screamed. “In fact, we’re never mentioning this again.” He gathered up the papers in order to secure them a folder in a locked drawer of desk. The last thing they needed was a wayward page getting loose and falling into the wrong hands. Beckett would kill them both, bring them back to life, and then kill them again.

“I’m gonna have nightmares about them doing the nasty. I’ve had enough of this shit for tonight.” He went to leave the room…and ran straight into Beckett.

“Jesus, Espo, watch where you’re going,” she snapped.

He didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Ryan wasn’t much better than him, shuffling around and keeping his eyes firmly on his feet.

“What’s wrong with you two? Why are you acting so weird?” Beckett asked.

“Weird?” Esposito scoffed. “I’m-we’re not-weird? We’re not being—”

“Definitely not us. Maybe you’re the one being weird,” Ryan interrupted, raising his eyebrows at her accusingly.

Beckett frowned while glancing back and forth between the two of them. She gave them her signature you-two-are-fucking-idiots look before shaking her head. “You know what? Forget I asked.

As she walked away, Esposito turned and slapped his partner across the chest. “Way to play it cool, dumbass.”

“Oh like you were any better, Mr. Stutter,” Ryan fired back.

“It’s not my fault. All I could think of was that picture—”

“Why do think I couldn’t look at her? It’s practically burned into my brain!”

“We’re never gonna be able to look Mom and Dad in eye again.”

Ryan nodded in agreement, his brows furrowing in thought. “Do you think the department will pay for therapy after this?”


End file.
